Giving feedback: the models that work
Giving good feedback is not a matter of innate talent but of method. A few proven structures let you say things clearly, without attacking or drowning the message. Here are the most useful ones.
SBI: the simplest and most robust model
Developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, the SBI model has three steps: Situation – Behavior – Impact.
- Situation: when and where, precisely. "Yesterday, in the client meeting."
- Behavior: what was observed, factually, without interpretation. "You interrupted the client twice."
- Impact: the concrete effect on you, the team, the result. "I felt him close up, and we lost track of what he needed."
The strength of SBI: it banishes judgment. You don't say "you're disrespectful" (interpretation), you describe a fact and its effect. The other person can hardly dispute an observable behavior and a felt impact.
"Describe the behavior, not the person. A person can change a behavior; they can't change who they are in one conversation."
DESC: to request a change
When feedback needs to lead to a request, the DESC model — from Asserting Yourself by Sharon and Gordon Bower (1976) — adds a commitment step. It relies on the assertive "I" rather than the accusatory "you."
| Step | Content | Example |
|---|---|---|
| D — Describe | The fact, objectively | "The last three reports arrived late." |
| E — Express | Your feeling in "I" | "I feel uneasy reviewing them without the figures." |
| S — Specify | The concrete request | "Could you send them the evening before?" |
| C — Consequences | The shared benefit | "That way the meeting is more efficient for everyone." |
Feedforward: looking ahead rather than back
Marshall Goldsmith offers a powerful shift: feedforward. Rather than dwelling on the past (which can't be changed and puts people on the defensive), you ask for or offer suggestions aimed at the future. Instead of "your presentation was too long," you say: "for the next one, two or three ideas to sharpen the impact?" The past can't be attacked, so it's less threatening; the future is open and actionable.
Radical Candor: dare to speak, with care
Kim Scott, formerly of Google and Apple, sums up the ideal stance in Radical Candor (2017) with two axes: care personally and challenge directly. The crossing produces four stances.
quadrantChart
title The four stances (Kim Scott)
x-axis Not direct --> Very direct
y-axis Low care --> High care
quadrant-1 Radical candor
quadrant-2 Ruinous empathy
quadrant-3 Manipulative insincerity
quadrant-4 Obnoxious aggression
- Ruinous empathy: you care but don't dare say anything → they don't improve.
- Obnoxious aggression: you're direct but with no regard → it wounds.
- Manipulative insincerity: neither care nor candor → toxic.
- Radical candor: you say things because you care → the ideal.
Most managers err toward ruinous empathy: out of kindness, they stay silent about what would truly help.
The "sandwich": a false good idea
The feedback sandwich technique (a positive point, the negative in the middle, a positive to close) is very common but widely discouraged by specialists: the recipient learns to expect only the negative "filling," compliments lose their sincerity, and the core message gets diluted. Better to clearly separate appreciation (sincere, at another time) from coaching (precise, direct).
What to say / what not to say
Situation: a colleague monopolizes meetings.
- Don't say: "You talk all the time, let others breathe."
- Do say (SBI): "This morning you took the floor on the first four points (S+B). As a result, Léa and Sami couldn't share their view and we missed their expertise (I)."
Practical exercise
Pick a piece of feedback you've been putting off for weeks. Write it in SBI format: one sentence for the situation, one for the observable behavior, one for the impact. Re-read: did you slip in a judgment ("you are…")? If so, turn it back into a fact.
Summary
Giving feedback is learned through models: SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact) from the Center for Creative Leadership to describe without judging; DESC from the Bowers to request a change in "I"; feedforward from Goldsmith to aim at the future rather than rehash the past; and Kim Scott's radical candor — challenge directly because you care. To avoid: the sandwich, which dilutes the message and devalues compliments.